The Lighter Side of the Campus Safety Blotter

Fire extinguisher obsessions, urination as drought relief, an air gun, and the usual lack of common sense. It’s all part of the lighter side.

By Becky Snider, Blotter Reporter

While there is nothing as exciting as a golf cart heist this time, campus certainly hasn’t been dry. And I mean that in the literal sense. Several accounts of underage alcohol possession have been reported in Whiteford and Rouzer. Big surprise there, I know.

There was of course the normal reported slew of fire extinguisher thefts and faulty fire alarms. What is this obsession we have with fire extinguishers? Must we steal them and horde them in our rooms? I mean what is this inevitable draw of “tampering with fire equipment”? Is discharging a fire extinguisher that could possibly save your life all that exciting? It does indeed seem to be the time of the year to make a fiery mess of things.

In other news, on Saturday, November 17, at around 12:30 a.m. Campus Safety officers witnessed a student urinating outside Whiteford Hall. Apparently students are concerned about the drought that we are in. The grass must have looked a bit dry and obviously needed some watering.

In fact, the grass was not the only thing that needed watering. One student from Rouzer was found throwing water balloons out of a window on Tuesday, November 13. At just after 8 p.m. Campus Safety found the said student in possession of an air gun. The DoCs confiscated the air gun and a jar of BBs from the student.

The student apparently did not know that having the air gun was a violation of campus policy.

Speaking of policy, on November 20 Campus Safety received a complaint for an illegal substance found while conducting health and safety inspections in a dorm.

What happened to common sense guys? It’s not smart to leave things that can get you into trouble just lying around out in the open!

Even if there is not that much common sense going around recently, there certainly is some decorating sense going around. Campus Safety found a push bar torn off a door in Rouzer. Now as to why this really happened, your guess is as good as mine. Though I have it on good authority that the mystery thief decided it would look really good placed decoratively in his room.

However, it seems that some have no sense at all. A non-student was stopped and ticketed by Campus Safety on Sunday, November 18 for speeding and going the wrong way down a one way street. The non-student, in a tragic coincidence, was driving by Winslow Center at the time as well.

Even more coincidental, as I was writing this piece, Campus Safety came into the library computer lab and escorted a student out of the building. The two Campus Safety officials told the student to immediately stop what he was doing and to shut the computer down completely.

Now I can’t tell you what the exact issue with the student was. However his behavior was indeed odd. The student seemed to be talking loudly to himself while watching some sort of Anime show. Several witnesses also saw him pouring clear liquid out of a gallon bottle into a smaller one. Again, your guess is as good as mine.

The semester seemed to slow to a crawl in odd events. Though I am sure the things that are bound to happen over Jan-term will make up for that. For now, we must be entertained by alcohol and fire extinguishers.

Editor’s Note: This weekly piece highlights some of the more inane calls and incidents to which campus safety responds.