The Lighter Side of the Campus Safety Blotter

By Becky Snider

Editor’s Note: This weekly piece highlights some of the more inane calls and incidents to which campus safety responds.

Time certainly does fly. April is almost here which only brings May. Excitement there, no? Hopefully Spring Fling is not a complete wash out this year. As bad as it sounds, let’s wish for less rain—for several reasons.

One reason being that we already have enough liquids on campus for half the population of Westminster. The liquids that I’m talking about just happen to be of the alcoholic version. A version that seems to have worked its way all across campus these last few weeks. On March 8, one student thought that it would be a good idea to walk around Decker with an open container of alcohol in a public area. Then there was the student in Whiteford who had to be taken to CHC for alcohol poisoning.

Now there’s a smart way to start spring—woo, party hard. I guess that “possession under 21” offense wasn’t enough.

There is of course the escapades on PA Avenue that we all know and love. This time there is an entire page devoted to our love of the alcohol found on PA Avenue. On March 8 (seems to be a popular date), students were documented for violating multiple policies. One student was documented with failure to comply and dishonesty. The policy violations include: keg, multiliter container, beer bong, hard liquor, drinking games, possession under 21, providing false information, failure to comply with Campus Safety and furnishing to a minor. Quite a list if you ask me. Must have been one hell of a party.

The same night, two students were documented for underage alcohol possession in Rouzer. On March 9 there were several incidents documented in Decker College Center. One student was documented for underage possession, another student was found intoxicated. The cup, err, scale was tipped when a Greek organization had their party shut down early due to violating clubroom policies. Gee, wonder who they were? It’s all fun and games until someone steals the tequila.

More recent drinking events on campus include the multiple students in North Village who were charged much the same as the ones on PA Avenue. Other incidents include a sprinkling here or there on PA Avenue or off campus.

Just wait though, I guarantee you there will be more; there always is. So keep your little red plastic cups ready.

Seems that the only thing worthwhile to do is drink and well, punch holes in stairwell windows. That’s right. On March 25 one student decided that it would be really fun to punch through a glass window in Blanche. Sure, fun.

Of course the student could always turn to tampering with fire equipment, which happened on PA Avenue. Or maybe students can start making their own parking permits.

Oh wait, someone already attempted to do that. I guess the parking permit was a bit too altered. Well better luck next time, you know with punching in the window and all.

And with that let’s start bringing the semester to an end. Study hard, have fun and don’t get caught. I mean, well you know what I mean.