Lighter Side of the Campus Safety Blotter

Jen Noel
Staff Reporter

As another semester is coming to a close here on the Hill, so too does the curtain fall on this year’s installment of the Lighter Side. There were numerous memorable moments that filled the pages of the blotter, so memorable in fact that I decided to dedicate a portion of this week’s Lighter Side to the Best and Brightest (more like the Most Foolish and Strangest) of 2008.Let’s never forget the soap and suds party in an Academic Hall bathroom or the Mission Impossible crew that scurried on top of Decker Center. The campus safety vehicle versus dump truck episode also makes it into the noteworthy category. The boulder bandit of Rouzer Hall undoubtedly flies to the top of the list.

However, the recipient of this year’s numero uno position goes to the student who was able to effortlessly transform into Spiderman and scale an exterior wall of McDaniel Hall. This incident could easily become the newest definition of inane.

The past two weeks have also brought an interesting array of incidents to the blotter. On November 16, students in a Garden Apartment could not keep a keg party a secret. Apparently a new drinking game on campus involves throwing empty beer bottles from a window. Even if they thought shattering the bottles would elude Campus Safety, they now have to face the Green Terra gang for not recycling.

Also having to face the wrath of the avid recyclers on campus was a student who decided the Whiteford parking lot resembled a dumpster. On November 21, Campus Safety issued a citation to a student who dumped a pile of trash including banana peels, food containers, plastic bags, and other perishable goods out of their car door. Fall cleaning probably should have a week sooner and a few feet closer to a trash can for this litterbug.

On November 9, litter was at the bottom of the problem list for a student on Pennsylvania Avenue. An unsuspecting individual fell victim to one of the oldest college pranks in the book?furniture stacking.

Campus Safety received a report that a student was unable to leave their room because an unknown culprit barricaded their door shut with furniture. Someone obviously needs to think about picking up a few more credits if they have nothing better to do in their free time.

A final tale from Rouzer Hall is the only fitting way to end this column. A report was generated on November 13 that serious property damage occurred in the freshmen boys’ dorm.

Campus Safety arrived at 12 a.m. to find over 20 ceiling tiles broken. Aside from someone using a pogo stick up and down the hall, I feel like this was definitely not an accidental occurrence. Perhaps a new year will also bring a wave of maturity for the youngest members of our community.

It has been an interesting ride through the pages of the blotter this semester, and fears of a lackluster week never crossed my mind. Try not to let the merriment of the holidays overcome you and farewell till next semester when the inane acts will abound again.