Lighter Side of the Campus Safety Blotter

Jen Noel
Staff Reporter

The unpredictable weather of the past two weeks or perhaps a series of good television shows must have been keeping the students on campus occupied because this week’s blotter was definitely on the “lighter side.” The fact that students have been on their better behavior makes a good day for Campus Safety, but makes my job more difficult. But have no fear, no one is perfect, and the blotter still had plenty of mishaps.

In the weeks since returning to campus, there have been 99 documented incidents in the blotter, a number that is pretty high according to Mike Webster. A string of vehicle related incidents made up the latter part of that 99 this round.

On February 21, officers responded to a call that three cars had been egged in the North Village parking lot. The cars appeared to have no apparent connection to one another, but one thing’s for sure; someone on campus has a real aversion to omelets. The only tangible explanation for this incident is they must be trying to relive their high school days; I bet they went cow tipping afterwards.

Another student was also unfortunate enough to find an unwanted gift left on their car. On February 24, a student reported going to his car and discovering that someone had thrown up on his vehicle. Nothing like seeing that someone else had a better dinner in GLAR last night than you did. Clean up in aisle seven.

On February 15, I was a first hand witness to a report that Campus Safety filed in Hill Hall. A student must have forgotten that there is no bathroom on the first floor of the building as fecal matter was discovered in the hallway. Students using the computer lab were approached by the officer on duty and asked if they had posted the sign or knew anything about the incident.

Being a true reporter, I checked out the scene. It was disgusting, but it also proved that there are some considerate students on campus. After stepping in the remnants left behind by the poo bandit, someone posted a sign to beware of the droppings on the other side of the door. The cleaning staff really needs to get paid overtime for these past two weeks.

Of course the pages of the blotter were also filled with the expected incidents of alcohol violations and disturbances around campus; some just never learn from the mistakes of others.

If nothing else, a moral emerges from this week’s blotter: no place is safe from the sordid activities of students, so watch where you’re walking.