Cocktales entertains with original monologues, shocks with Candor

Maire Hunter

Staff Reporter

cocktales 1CockTales is definitely not a “male” Vagina Monologues.
For starters, it’s much more informal. Sitting in the audience, you’ll know
the show is about to start by the audible cheer coming from backstage.  The
monologues are peppered with banter between the performers and the audience,
and there was even some friendly heckling of the sound technician when the
microphones didn’t work right.

The eight men and five women that formed this year’s cast wrote monologues
that discussed their personal experiences with a surprising amount of
frankness—even for CockTales.

Of course, that frankness comes with its share of humor in the form of shock
value and dick jokes.

The monologues this year touched on a variety of topics ranging from the
phenomena of “anonymous dongs” on Chatroulette to the fantasies of an anal
sex virgin.

The cast also found fresh ways of performing their pieces. Jake Friedman
rapped about how middle school girls are easy, and Naomi Raphael wrote a
narrative poem.

Junior Nancy Franklin thought Matthew Bisenius’ new form of CockTale,
“Nadlibs” (during which “stank pocket” was a noun suggested by the audience
and used), was “funny and seemed well researched.”

Many of the monologues offered interesting facts—did you know the average
speed of an ejaculation is 28 miles per hour? Or the *real* average size of

Rachele Fortier’s rant about the unfair reputation that the uncircumcised
penis has was poignant…and offered a list of uncircumcised celebrities,
including Vladimir Putin and Billy Mays.

Returning cast member Mike Mandel (’10) reflected that this year, regardless
of the joking, was “more serious, which was a good thing actually. Everyone
had a moral they were trying to get across.”

Pam Knopp (’10) has enjoyed representing the female perspective in the past
two years.

“The point of the show is to talk about men and the male experience. Leaving
out how women experience men or their respect and admiration for them would
be leaving out a crucial piece.”

Pam was one of only two women, including Professor Sara Raley, the group’s
faculty advisor last year. The dynamic didn’t seem to change with the
addition of three more women this year.

“While we make a lot of jokes, there is a lot of respect amongst the cast.
They never made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be there because I didn’t
have a penis.”

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Mandel agreed that having the girls helped, “because it isn’t about the male
experience, it’s about cocks in general.”

CockTales shares the profits of their show each year with a charity.

CockTales 2008 raised proceeds will go toward Dads Works, a free Carroll
County program that helps men become better fathers.

Last year they donated $300 to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) in honor
of Tom Rouleau.

This year, they raised almost $1000, half of which will be donated to Dads
Works, a local program to help men become better fathers by offering
services to help teach better decision making, financial management, anger
management, and by improving communication.