Sex on the Hill : It’s Okay to Talk About It: Bringing Sex Outside of the Bedroom

Call it what you want: a deeper expression of love, a passionate act of lust, a result of one too many drinks and poor decision making. It all comes back to the same thing: sex.


It doesn’t matter if you have it every day of your life or you’ve never had it at all. It’s not just under the sheets, behind closed doors or stuffed into the back of a car, it’s everywhere.


It’s in our clothing, expressed in low cut t-shirts and tight, revealing jeans. It’s in our advertisements, with commercials of greasy burgers being eaten by amazingly beautiful women and body wash that makes you irresistible to the opposite sex. It’s in our daily lives. Whether it’s causing us pleasure, lust, anxiety, or fear; it’s everywhere.


Sure, when you’re proud of drunkenly hooking up with a girl at a party or ecstatic about losing your virginity to the man of your dreams, you may exclaim it to the heavens. But sex is not always an explosive, eruption of overcome pride and joy. It stands to reason that it has to go bad at some point.


So why do people never talk about their issues, their worries, and their problems that they have with sex? Having “issues with your sexuality,” goes far beyond orientation; everyone has an upside, and everyone, surely, has a downside.


Perhaps you have apprehensions about losing your virginity, or suddenly find yourself not able to perform, or you even have an STD. It doesn’t matter. There are a million and one things, both big and small, that can go wrong either before, during, or after sex. No one is exempt from this and I hate to break the news, if you haven’t had a problem yet, you’ll have one down the road. But you know what, that’s okay. So why, then, if people have these issues, do we have trouble talking about it?


Embarrassment, shame, guilt; it’s fairly tragic that these emotions drive us to hide our insecurities and problems, and internalize them, leaving us to deal with them ourselves.


Here’s the deal though: you’re not alone. I know it may feel like the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you and you may feel like the only person on the planet with this issue, but you’re not.


With over 7 billion people on the planet, chances are someone, somewhere has had the same issue and has found a way to deal with it. And more likely than not, that person is closer than you think.


Talking about sex doesn’t have to be about who you’ve fucked or who you want to fuck, it should be about everything: problems, joys, fears, pleasures, and everything in between. The word “private” doesn’t mean you have to keep it secret. Odds are you’ve already raved about your sexual exploits to someone.

So the next time you’re faced with a sexual problem, try taking it out of the bedroom. You might be surprised at who’s found the exact same problem in theirs.