Lighter Side of Campus Safety: Weeks of Feb. 7 and Feb. 14

Lighter Side cover photo

Well McDaniel, you really never disappoint. Unless, of course, the people you’re disappointing are your parents, because, well, you’re doing a lot of that. Anyhow, I’m back again to sift through your trash and hope I find some nuggets of gold. And preferably not just the contents of recycling bins or, heaven forbid, McPlague corpses.

First off, we had a lot of people going hard with the drugs recently. There were two cases of possession of controlled dangerous substances in stadium lot, two in Rouzer lot in one in Rouzer itself. There was also possession of paraphernalia in Rouzer lot, Rouzer, Stadium lot and, strangely, Gill. I guess someone brought their bong with them to Vocelli’s, which is, from a utilitarian perspective, genius, but from any other perspective completely idiotic.

Additionally, there is a lot of alcohol flowing at McDaniel. Sorry, I mean it was an average amount of alcohol for McDaniel (which for a school this size is a lot), but a lot of you managed to get caught. There were two counts of possession of hard liquor in Rouzer, one in Rouzer lot and two on PA Ave, and two counts of alcohol in alcohol free residence on PA. There was also one count of alcohol under 21 in Rouzer, one in Rouzer parking and two on PA Ave.

Now North Village managed to limit their smoke alarm numbers to two false alarms this week. Then again, everyone was puking too much to get around to cooking, so that actually seems high; maybe just the fevers you guys had set them off.

There was a malicious destruction of property case on a vehicle in Whiteford lot, which is one of many reasons to not bring a car to campus. The others being friends demanding rides, the reality that there’s really nowhere to drive, and how much Taco Bell enables you to eat.  It’s hard to study when you’re on the toilet in a dorm bathroom for six hours that night.

Lastly, there was a case of harassment in Decker and a case of Hate Bias in the form of verbal abuse. I can’t really make a joke here, so here’s a gif to sum up the person/people who were harassing/being hateful.

And you suck. Did I mention that? You. Suck. And you do not have my sympathy.

You’re in college. Stop being washed up Regina George, cause no one likes the person who peaked in high school.

That’s all for now guys, but seriously. Keep up the hard work making my job easier. But like, be cool about it? Don’t ruin your lives for me, and 110% don’t ruin anyone else’s.