April Fools

McDaniel ACC

ACC Announces Addition of McDaniel College

GREENSBORO, N.C. – The Atlantic Coast Conference Council of Presidents has unanimously voted to accept McDaniel College as its 16th member. The invitation followed the submission of a letter of…




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Recent Grad to Marry Former Professor

Over Spring Break, McDaniel Alumnus Oscar Santos ’13 and Biology professor Dr. Kelly Winters were engaged in a fancy Italian restaurant in Gaithersburg, Md. Santos graduated last May with a…









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Residence Halls Finally Get Soap

Residents of upperclassmen dormitories were in for a surprise Wednesday when commercial soap dispensers appeared to have been installed in hall restrooms overnight. The College had not provided soap to…



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Exhausted Sophomore Just Wants Pizza

Approximately half an hour before midnight yesterday evening, a McDaniel sophomore was found lying in her bed doing absolutely nothing and regretting some of her short-term life choices. “I’m tired,…



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Lack of Fans at Fault For Football Losses

After an in-depth analysis of the past few college football seasons, the source of McDaniel College’s unfortunate losses has finally been traced back to the lack of fans attending the…


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Student Writes Poetry, Feels Deep

A student has situated herself in a nook of the third floor of the library with a pen and moleskin notebook. The student, who wishes to remain anonymous for philosophical…