Maryland legislative session in review
After a busy legislative session unlike any one we’ve ever seen, defined by key moments in video calls, resonation between attendees in private online chats, and hearings from our living…
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COVID-19 clinic on campus & vaccine frequently asked questions
“Fall 2021 is going to look much more like the fall of 2019 than it did 2020,” said David Lakey, vice chancellor for health affairs and chief medical officer at…
College offers support in a gathering following Chauvin verdict
On Tuesday, April 20, at around 2:30 p.m., it was announced that the jury on the Derek Chauvin trial had reached a consensus. In anticipation of the results of the…
My girlfriend doesn’t kiss me anymore? These quick tips might fix my relationship
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Many single people across the world are always looking for advice…
Father snaps when four-year-old son can’t remember what comes after twelve
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Only three days into his weekend with the kids, local father…
Roger Casey resigns with Spongebob Squarepants “Ight imma head Out” meme
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] A small number of students received an email on September 23…
Fraternity employs revolutionary “passive aggressive hazing”
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In response to university crackdowns on fraternity hazing, local fraternity Alpha…
Controversial lobster in hot water again
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Moments before his departure onto a discounted plate at LongHard Steakhome,…
Good enough for me: headline scorer gives this a 68
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The WordPress update introduced a headline analyzer. It specifies that a…
A vibe-centered approach to dating
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] With college students, dating is all the same— apps, hookups, and…
Corbit’s Charge: A look into the not-so-well-known Civil War battle fought right on this campus
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] So you may be wondering, “What is Corbit’s Charge?” Well, here…
McDaniel student gets dog, loses personality
OPINION: The Green Terror Mascot is Operated By A Legion of Evil Squirrels
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Every college swears they’ve just got the quirkiest little squirrels. On…
Fast-food thinking slow: food items that just don’t belong
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Countless fast food restaurants continue to push food items that no…
BREAKING: The tent outside of Gill Center has blown away
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] On March 31 in the late hours of the evening, the…
Free Press writer doesn’t want to write about COVID-19, afraid it would date the article
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Free Press Journalist, Max Engle, declared in a staff meeting earlier…
Thank you! Student whose head literally burst into flames after thirteen hour study session gets a reading of 97.5 degrees from the no-contact thermometer outside of Glar
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Earlier this week, a student whose head caught fire after studying…
Ambitious student filmmaker opens short film with shot of alarm clock
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Sophomore film student Chet Abrams made history this week after writing,…
Those meddling Free Press reporters sent to Budapest for a semester to give administration “a break”
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Semester after semester, the Free Press staff has criticized the decisions…
Campus safety to enforce COVID-19 surveillance testing
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] It was a day that started like any other. I woke…