Trump Drops Out of GOP Race
Republican candidate Donald Trump has announced today that he is dropping out of the race for the GOP presidential nomination. This comes as a shock to many since he has…
Funion
Green and Go to Open Gas Station Outside Rouzer
McDaniel Residence Life, in conjunction with Sodexo Dining Services, have announced that they will be opening the Green and Go Gas Station adjacent to the store, in the hopes of…
Cockroach Having Hard Time Financing His Education
There’s no doubt that college is now an expensive endeavor in the U.S. Many of us struggle to make ends meet as tuition and fees take up a great deal…
Students Raise Concerns of Alumni Purge
While it’s widely known that only a few McDaniel grads can be particularly successful, students are now looking to the institution after the disappearances of some notable alumni. “There is…
Coch Ness Monster Sighting
This past weekend, Campus Safety Officer Miranda Wright made a surprising discovery: the Coch Ness Monster really does exist. Coch Ness is the name of the pond on the golf…
How to Raise Your Green Terror
The Green Terror (Greenus Terrorious) is an endangered species native to Westminster. McDaniel Facts scholars have been raising the McDaniel Green Terror’s newborn greenling for the last few months. In…
Due to Rising Tuition, Students Construct Shanty Town in Harveystone Park
After yet another tuition increase was announced for the 2016-2017 school year, McDaniel students have begun to construct a shanty town in Harveystone Park in an attempt to create a…
Editors Create Smallest Orchestra to Console Whining Editor
On the night of Wednesday, March 30, Free Press editors Hannah Krauss, Melanie Ojwang, Kelsey Mannix, and Jimmy Calderon created the smallest string orchestra in the world during that night’s…
Squirrel Squag’s Hoard Found
Have you lost your key or ID? Did it just disappear, seemingly from under your nose? Maintenance worker Filmore Sweepson, known to friends as Filly, discovered the reason why. “I…
McDaniel to Close Campus on Weekends
In light of the increasing cost of college maintenance, McDaniel officials have decided to close campus every Friday at 7 pm, and to reopen every Sunday at 4 pm starting…
Football Wins in Heroic Fashion
Coming off yet another disappointing season, the McDaniel football “bro squad,” as they have been dubbed, took to the field in what their one fan, Stu Padasso, called “Heroic fashion”…
McDaniel Mascot to Change to Better Embody Concept of “Terror”
The McDaniel Athletics department announced today that the school mascot, the “Green Terror,” would be being redesigned in order to better embody the “terror” part of its name. “We just…
The Pickle Gets A Makeover
While students were on Spring Break, administrators and Campus Safety were working closely to give our college transportation system, lovingly known as “The Pickle,” a complete makeover. “We’re excited to…
McDaniel’s Sportsball Team Wins Tournament
The newest sports gang at McDaniel recently competed in its first tournament competition, winning all of their game matches to take home the big trophy thing. They upset top-seeded Johns…
McDaniel Student Dresses Well for Warm Weather
The week of March 10 brought about a number of smiles and good attitudes to the McDaniel College campus. With temperatures reaching as high as 64 degrees Fahrenheit, students flocked…
McDaniel Student Goes to Class and Gym without Cell Phone, Does Not Freak Out
Last Monday, Freshman Aaron Callahan woke up at 8:30 a.m. to prepare for his class that begins shortly after 9a.m.. He had a granola bar and a water bottle before…
Recent Grad to Marry Former Professor
Over Spring Break, McDaniel Alumnus Oscar Santos ’13 and Biology professor Dr. Kelly Winters were engaged in a fancy Italian restaurant in Gaithersburg, Md. Santos graduated last May with a…
Student Gets Hair Cut Short over Break, Is Unhappy
McDaniel College Junior Bradley Heavner went to Florida for Spring Break to visit his grandparents. Having let his hair grow out all winter to keep warm, he decided it was…
McDaniel College to Open New Restaurant on Campus, Student Input Needed
McDaniel College administration has announced plans to install a new dining location on campus. The plan is to install a small venue to the side of the library between Caseys’…
Theater Department Hires Undead for “Evil Dead” Production
Campus Security advises students planning to attend McDaniel’s production of “Evil Dead: The Musical” to arm themselves to the teeth with heavy textbooks, trays from Glar, and a slow roommate. In…