I found a neat looking brick
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Today, this reporter has uncovered something spectacular, something never before recognized…
The Funion
Campus announcements to charge by the word
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The campus announcements email has become overloaded with information, and a…
Work on new student center halted as workers begin to speak in tongues
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Renovations on the McDaniel Decker College Center have been brought to…
PSU petitions to punch the sun
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In bright, UV light of recent concerns regarding climate change and…
Student still late for class, despite no longer needing to leave bed
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] “I had it down to an exact science,” said Rebecca Brandon,…
Online classes to be taught through Animal Crossing: New Horizons
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] With McDaniel College switching to online classes for the rest of…
Nature is calling — will AVI answer?
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Every student’s McDaniel College experience would not be complete without Englar…
President Casey cites Free Press articles in email announcements, speeches, personal conversations
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Since October 2018, the Free Press has published several articles surrounding…
McHoroscopes: Daily doses
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Aries (March 21-April 19): Today will be many things for you….
Student complains about assignment, had ample time to finish it over break
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Remy Travers, a sophomore political science major, has a 15-page research…
Lean mean grilling machine promoter George Foreman announced as College grill master
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] AVI Foodsystems announced over Spring Break that the grill station in…
McDaniel student practices necromancy; accidentally revives old Green Terror mascot
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] On a cold March morning, about the time when the sun…
Local squirrel rallies cicadas under banner to terrorize campus
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] It’s no secret that McDaniel is home to an abundance of…
Bustling job fair attracts McDaniel professors
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The Forum was filled to capacity last week at McDaniel’s spring…
College turns to necromancy to collect debt from dead students
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In the face of recent budgeting problems, McDaniel has begun looking…
McDaniel’s sports teams receive more funding
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel College has taken its new profits and decided to spread…
Feed me, Seymour: College to cut more programs
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel College has announced that still more majors will be suspended….
SGA does something right, entire world in disbelief
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In an unprecedented shift in campus culture, the Student Government Association…
Senior suspected to actually be two first-year students in a trench coat
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] At first glance, McDaniel senior Jacob Smith appears to be like…
There’s a big rat in the Free Press office
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published on April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] April 1 was meant to be a normal day in the…