Sodexo to Offer New Theme Nights This Spring
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In an effort to offer a wider variety of their somewhat…
The Funion
In Mix-Up of Unprecedented Proportions, Student Athlete Presents on Supply-Side Economics at Centennial Conference, Runs 400 Meters at Maryland Honors Conference
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel student-athlete and honors student Pete Pandowski is able to run…
An Interview With One of McDaniel’s Highest Earning Alumni, XXXNoScopeBeast1993XXX
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel College has a number of notable alumni, including news anchor…
Wealthy Students Humbled by Living in McDaniel Hall
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] A new wave of housing woes has fallen upon select residents…
Non-Athletes Show an Interest in Campus Sports
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] In an incredibly unexpected turn of the tides, students have been…
Student Chooses to Become Hobo Rather Than Pay for Housing
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel students have discovered yet another innovative idea for saving money…
Roman Life Gains Traction on Campus in Midst of Greek Life Decline
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] It’s no secret that Greek life on campus has been in…
Movie Review: Legally Blonde
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Ah, yes. What a classic. “Legally Blonde” challenges our views about what…
Student Hopes Anti-Theft Alarm Won’t Target Him
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] “I just don’t know what’s going to happen to me when…
Spellcheck Conspires Against Student
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Starting in the fall semester of 2017, McDaniel College will no…
Administration Apologizes for Tuition Hikes
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] For years, students and their families have endured rapidly increasing postsecondary…
Where’s the Free Press?
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Dear Free Press, For years you have provided me with a…
Letter to the Editors
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] I am writing this letter to the editors as someone who…
Campus Profile: Peter Lynn, Head of E.T. Department
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] After multiple complaints by students, Campus Safety has finally agreed to…
Trump Drops Out of GOP Race
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] Republican candidate Donald Trump has announced today that he is dropping…
Green and Go to Open Gas Station Outside Rouzer
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] McDaniel Residence Life, in conjunction with Sodexo Dining Services, have announced…
Cockroach Having Hard Time Financing His Education
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] There’s no doubt that college is now an expensive endeavor in…
Students Raise Concerns of Alumni Purge
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] While it’s widely known that only a few McDaniel grads can…
Coch Ness Monster Sighting
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] This past weekend, Campus Safety Officer Miranda Wright made a surprising…
How to Raise Your Green Terror
[Disclaimer: This article was originally published for April Fools’ Day, and it should not be interpreted as factual reporting.] The Green Terror (Greenus Terrorious) is an endangered species native to…